Arnold
CibbuanoExecutive Officer for Lehman Brothers
October 17th 2008 01:24
Lehman Brothers is looking for executive officers to join their highly-paid team of management to finagle profits, weasel out of responsibility and bankrupt the company with risky investments.
Check here on the Lehman Brothers' career page, which is full of motivational manager-speak:
"Make an impact. Engage your passion. Realize your potential. Around the world, the Lehman Brothers team is growing. Explore these pages to learn how you can build a career with us, and experience Lehman Brothers for yourself."
The 'experience' they must be talking about is the feeling of desperate panic when you realize that your entire world is sliding into a muddy abyss of tangled financial vehicles. You push the buttons on your computer; money arrives at Lehman's. What's so tough about that?
"The Firm offers a full range of health care plans.
* Medical
* Dental
* Vision care
* Flexible spending accounts"
* Medical
* Dental
* Vision care
* Flexible spending accounts"
Finally! You can get those contact lenses!
Of course, as an executive, you'll be safely protected from bad decisions with a nice, fat bye-bye package.
"The payoffs, approved on September 12 by the Wall Street giant’s compensation committee, included over $24m in severance packages to the collapsed firm’s top three London executives."
No worries, mate. We'll bail you out. Not the company, or the people who have invested in you - you, actually. We'd hate for you to fly in economy like the rest of the chumps.
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